Vipassana Experience Days 4-6

Vipassana

Days 4 -6

Day 4 is considered an important day as it’s the start of the real Vipassana practice and this is where it got very interesting. The prior 3 days had basically been training in awareness and sharpening the mind.

Our meditation sessions took on a whole new meaning today and in the group sitting we had to try to sit firstly for a whole 2 hours while we listened to Vipassana instructions, without moving. Our task was to go through the whole body and observe any gross, physical sensations (or subtle sensations) within the body and not react to them.

We were not to move (if at all possible) and had to maintain an equanimous mind – which means no reaction within the mind. No craving and no aversion.

The pain I felt in my legs during that first 2 hr instruction session left me in tears. It was that great. I have never felt such excruciating pain before and it was all in my legs (I would like to point out that it was my choice to push my pain barrier that far!) It felt like my bones and every muscle, every vein was on fire. I pushed it to limit and beyond during that meditation and afterwards I curled up in a ball on my bed feeling sorry for myself for about 30 seconds or so. I felt defeated but my mind screamed No Get up! As quickly as I’d laid down I was up and ready to go again.

p.s I haven’t mentioned pain to scare the living bejesus out of you! so don’t be deterred. I think most will feel varying degrees of pain in the body or some sort of unpleasantness while sitting for extended periods of time and of course if you really have to, you can move your posture. The technique is not meant to be painful, or a form of self torture, but you can push it as much as you feel you want to push it. I chose to push it to the brink. I haven’t experienced that level of pain again (not yet anyway!) except on day 5, and I can now sit quite comfortably for more than an hour without moving. For those that had back injuries or other health concerns affecting their ’sitting’ the participants could use a chair or sit against the wall.

Day 5 brought an interesting turn of events. I was expecting immense pain again in my legs and I got it – within the first 5 minutes! With another 55 mins to go I panicked momentarily but something inside of me said ‘ just focus on the breath’. An amazing thing happened a few minutes later – it’s a bit hard to explain but it was like I ended up inside a bubble, viewing my pain from the inside out. The fiery pain in my legs lost it’s ‘grossness’ and intensity and I felt cold, silver liquid flowing through, cooling the fire. I started to freak out (with excitement!) because I couldn’t feel the usual bounds of my body. I could still feel where the pain was but it was now bearable and seemed like it had evolved into something new. I stayed there for the whole hour seeing and feeling my body from a whole new perspective. It was pretty amazing. The teaching that night revealed that seeing the pain ‘from the inside’ can happen for some students and I knew that was what had happened to me. I was ever so grateful!

Day 6 was a bit less painful and I continued to push and push my pain barrier as far as I could. Despite my newfound ability to ease my pain a little like the day before (I played around a bit and realized I could do this at will!) I couldn’t continue to lift my consciousness to view my pain from the inside. The teaching revealed that we do need to feel the bodily sensations on the gross level (which is the most painful, intense level!) to break the habit reactions of the mind. So I decided to put my voodoo aside. I tell you what, this practice is amazing for strengthening the mind. By observing the pain you just become detached from it all which brings enormous strength. More than you can imagine. I pushed it further than what I thought I ever could.

The amazing thing is that this ability to ‘observe’ not react is what spills over into our every day lives and we become less reactive – the reaction habit of the mind loses it’s power. I’ve spoken about pain but there are all sorts of sensations that can arise – I had intense itches in both ears at the same time (I know I couldn’t believe it!), pleasant sensations, stinging of the eyes, tingling, heat, cold… everyone will feel different sensations. Each day will also bring different challenges and one day will be hard and the next one easier, then it will be harder still. And this is the very thing that we need to accept and observe regarding the nature of our own day to day reality… CHANGE.

Vipassana Days 7-10

Vipassana Days 1-3

Vipassana Experience (Overview)

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Why observe sensations in the body?

We usually go through our day blindly reacting to all the outside stimulus we come in contact with; everything that touches our senses (including people, places, objects and events). Our mind gets agitated as it experiences sensations in the body it deems unpleasant (like me with the brown rice!). For example, sensations of irritation, anger or agitation arise in the body and we lose our equanimity of mind – we lash out, say nasty things and perform unwholesome acts – many of them regrettable.

This is the blind habit pattern of the mind. Our mind instantly reacts to the sensations that arise in the body, pleasant or unpleasant. The practice of Vipassana means that you learn to ‘observe’ the sensations arising in the body and you learn to keep your equanimity or balance of mind. The power of being able to do this is immense as in that moment we have not blindly reacted and added yet another impurity and defilement into the mind, and our old impurities then start to dissolve away.

Bodily sensations are the link to the unconscious reaction patterns of the mind. With every reaction we have, there is always a sensation that arises within the body.

Vipassana means ’seeing things as they really are’… when we become an observer of the sensations we feel within the framework of our body without reacting, we are seeing the moment as it is, not how we want it to be. If there is pain, there is pain. If there is pleasure, there is pleasure. We are experiencing the truth of our own reality in that very moment. ’Our reality’ in Vipassana is not about what’s happening on the outside – it’s not what we see with our eyes, have in our lives or where we are going on our journey. There is much talk today of ‘creating our own reality’ and most are referring to ‘having and achieving what we want’. The truth of this, in Vipassana practice, is that ‘your reality’ is what you are experiencing right now (eg. sensations) within the framework of your body (mental & physical).

The other important aspect is realizing that the true nature of reality is CHANGE.

Sensations arise within us and they may stay for a while, but the sensations always pass. They always pass… Usually we find ourselves clinging to the sensations that arise in our bodies, both pain and pleasure, instead of just observing them with the understanding that they won’t be there forever.

When we feel happy and blissful we try so desperately to hold on to it! If you truly observe, laughter, joy and happiness rise up within us like bubbles in champagne but the feeling always settles down. We get disappointed when we lose the sensation and we search and search for outside stimulus to trigger the happy bubbles again. When someone has wronged us we may get angry and keep reliving the anger for hours, days, weeks, even years! We relive the event in our minds over and over and we cling to this sensation of anger in our bodies when we could just observe it, knowing it will pass. Pain is also a common sensation that we resist and desperately try to push out of our lives when it arises.

Observation of our reality as it is now, pain or pleasure, is what ultimately sets us free and brings immense inner peace. We accept whatever sensation we are feeling as it is, not how we want it to be…

In Vipassana practice you learn to OBSERVE YOUR REALITY (your mind, your body) and deepen your insight into the true nature of mind and matter.

This process of observation ultimately starts to break the reaction habit patterns of the mind at the deepest levels.

Awareness + Equanimity = Purity